Question For Ya...

You may not believe me, but I spend a lot of time thinking about you!

Where do you live?

Do you have a ninetofive?

Are you funemployed?

So to put my inquisitive mind to rest, I've added a poll to the blog!

If you would be so kind, check out the "What's your employment situation?" box to the right, and let me know what your deal is!

(If you're curious as to what "funemployment" means, exactly-check this out.)

I'll see how this one goes before potentially posting more.

I really want to know all about you. I want to get to know you in a first date kind of way... in a "Where did you grow up" or a "What's your favorite color" or a "Why are you so emotionally unavailable?" kind of way.

And I will expect a phone call within two days.

Thanks to Brian over at Isn't It Fun for the date humor.

image courtesy: Getty Images

Funner At Home

5 fun things about the office that you can recreate (and make even funner) right in the comfort of your own home:

1. Candy Time!
Ninetofiver: Just after lunchtime, go desk hopping, annoying the same three people every day until one of them restocks their candy drawer. Submit to eating (what are likely) 70% sugar chocolate eggs purchased at a 50% discount the week after Easter. Immediately regret decision.
Funemployed: Purchase your favorite candy. Hide candy in drawers throughout the house and when your sweet tooth kicks in, go Peanut Butter M&M hunting!

2. Eavesdropping on Personal Conversations
Ninetofiver: Limited to the narrative your office mate has daily with her husband about picking up the kids from school and their extraciriculars. But hey, it's better than the sound of the ventilation system, right?
Funemployed: There's always some a hole at your local coffee shop stupid enough to get into a personal conversation all up in your latte. Make note of every detail. Allow yourself to make petty judgements about their lives.

3. Gossip
Ninetofiver: Hang around the water cooler, or whatever these are called and wait for the people you want the gossip from show up.
Funemployed: You could do this. Or maybe this. Or visit here. Or one of these. Or just burry yourself in this.

4. Office Parties
Ninetofiver: Show up early to make sure you get the best, or any of whatever "food" was ordered for the occasion. Start drinking as soon as possible in order to build up tolerance to Creepy Richard in Accounting. Make ass out of oneself after 5 self-poured martinis.
Funemployed: Arrive at any Financial District bar for happy hour. Fabricate elaborate and fantastical job (suggestions: NASCAR driver, South America river rafting guide, unemployed blogger). Flirt shamelessly with already tipsy men or women until he or she insists on buying you dinner because they're so excited to hang out with a celebrity/worldly athlete/superstar.

5. Fill in the Blank!
I can't think of another one, so you tell me!
Comment on this post with your favorite office-thing-turned-funemployed-at-home-thing!
Is it free office supplies? Is it conversation with coworkers/your fish? Tell me :)

Today's Advantage #6

I went closet diving earlier this week and unearthed a dress I'd long since forgotten about. It's grey, it has buttons, it has pockets. It's freaking adorable.

All it needed was a little iron and lint roller love, and it was back in adorable action.

I then did something with this dress that I would not have ever done as a ninetofiver- I wore it two days in a row. (Audible gasp from the direction of my Mom.)

If I had coworkers to face on a daily basis, this move would be out of the question. There would be the inevitable assumptions about my general hygiene (which is impeccable, I assure you), and comments what I'd been doing between quittin' time and punching in.

Instead, I ventured out into the world wearing the same adorable frock two days in a row and all I got were compliments.

Today's Adorable Advantage: Funemployed

image: Getty Images

Today's Advantage #5

There's nothing more delicate than a gal that shows up to work sporting a bruise, cut, or, godforbid, love bite!

As a ninetofiver the blemish will no doubt result in a flury of questions from coworkers who are eager to hear about one's life outside the cubicle.

For those of us who are terrible fibbers, it's often difficult to explain how such a mark has been procured ("well, I was kinda drunk and sort of stumbled up my front steps"; "well there was this guy at this party I was at, and he kinda reminded me of this one celebrity... yada yada yada" or the painfully truthful "I don't know") all while conducting oneself in a businesslike manner wearing a pinstripe pencil skirt and kitten heels.

However, with no office to report to, no prying coworkers to discuss the weekend's less-than-dignified events with, the wounds can simply heal in the comfort of one's own home, or at the Starbucks down the street, neatly hidden under a playful scarf.

Advantage: Funemployed


Hang in there, Z ;)

My Bright and Early Sunday

Funemployment is...
Donating time to something because you have the time and energy to do it.

I spent most of yesterday at the Yerba Buena Gardens in downtown San Francisco at the Israel in the Gardens Festival.

I was there volunteering with Birthright Israel NEXT, the alumni organization for the Birthright Israel organization.

I can say with a degree of certainty that if I were still a ninetofive-er, I would not likely have had the energy to show up downtown at 9am, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and hob-nobbed with the Jews all the live long day.

But, as luck would have it, I'm not. And I did :)

Hey You! Yeah, You With The Job!

I understand it's a bank holiday today.
I get that many many people have the day off.

However.

Even if you have to work today, I really REALLY don't really want to hear about it.

Enjoy the paycheck and quit the Facebook Status bitching.

Thank you.

My Third San Franciscoversary

I have now officially been in San Francisco for three years.

That's three years of the N Judah, with a job downtown, and therefore, three years of monthly Muni FastPasses.

Since my relocation three years ago...

• My address has stayed the same, but am currently living with flatmates #4, #6 and #7 (and our #2 Couch Surfer).
• I have worked at two ninetofives, my first as a tour guide second as a marketing and events manager for a swanky architecture/design magazine.
• I have had my life irrevocably changed and my sense of existence keenly sharpened by a loss in my family.
• I have lived in two of the 4 bedrooms.
• My toilet has been set aflame*, and I've co-hosted three pretty kick ass parties.
  

But I have to say, the next 12 months promise to be the most interesting.

*Although photograph does provide an idea of my former toilet's fate, it is, in fact, not my toilet.

What I Want to be When I Grow Up

I’ve begun to experience this strange phenomenon wherein I decide that my new profession will be the profession of whoever I’m in the presence of.

I’m at a museum, I’ll be an art curator!
I’m on a plane, I’ll be a flight attendant!
I’m at a concert, I’ll be a singer/songwriter!
I’m bar, I’ll be a bouncer!

Why is this happening?
It might me that at this point I’m far enough outside the Ninetofive that I’m pretty idealistic about my options and I don’t have anything to loose in the dream.
It could also be that I am actually capable of anything. Just like Mrs. Adams always told us in 1st grade.

I don’t remember ever feeling this way when I was employed. I guess with enough time away from the stifling grind of a real job, the door on my reasonable professional limitations has been blown off. For better or for worse, I now have urges to become a MUNI driver and a defense attorney all in the same day.

I was going to watch an episode of Weeds, but now I'm afraid I'll be tempted to start dealing pot.


Funemployment Tip of the Day:
Tonight, for dinner, play “What does (your name) have in the fridge that will constitute a meal?” A guaranteed good time!