Tuesday, January 13, 2009

A Guide to Your First 24 Hours As a Funemployed Person
Part 1

I’ll be posting this Guide in several parts over the next couple of weeks.
Although this blog is intended for people who are funemployed for any reason, this guide is intended for those who get laid off.

Please to enjoy…

00:00 Moment of Impact
Deep breaths. It’s shocking, but believe me, it hasn’t hit you yet. You’re a little numb. There will be a lot of words that will come your way like “restructuring”, “severance” “COBRA” (which stands for Consolidated Omnibus Budget Reconciliation Act… huh?). Harness the numbness, turn it into fake listening.

If you’re anything like me, Hallmark commercials make you cry (like the one with the ice skating daughter and the mom gives her the card that says “Do you know how special you are?” That one KILLS me!) and this will make you cry. At work.
G’head, I’ll wait while you swallow that pill- it's a big one.
It’s okay.
As long as you can keep it under control and not do the gasping for air, snot-nosed, 4-year-old cry that we’ve all performed in moments of severe upset, you’ll be fine.

Also, remember that the person sitting across the table from you will likely be one of the best references you will ever have. No matter how awful a boss you think they’ve been, or despite your genuine respect and fondness for this person, he/she did just open his/her mouth and exploded your life. However, take a moment to remember; no one LIKES to lay anyone off and you will more than likely need to call on him/her some day to vouch for your abilities as a competent employee. In other words, their guilt will eventually be your “one of the best colleagues I’ve ever had the pleasure of working with”. So be respectful.

Lastly, get ready- it’s going to be a very long day.


Frankie said...

Hilarious! :D

For being laid off you've got a great attitude!

BTW - Have you used Bloglines Beta? If you follow many blogs, I highly recommend it. :)

alisaan said...

I got the "you have been made redundant" line. It was about 10:30am. I didn't drive home til closer to 1. And then I got home around 2:30 and turned on my laptop to see headlines of Michael Jackson has died. Worst. Day. Ever.

But now that the shock has worn off I'm trying to enjoy my funemployment. I am so glad I stumbled onto this blog. I needed it :)

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